Saturday, June 16, 2007

Robert Alan Soloway – Revenge of a Spamjammer

Robert Alan Soloway – Revenge of a Spamjammer
June 16, 2007
by: 00 Buck

Maybe its just me; maybe someone should tell me to “Curb Your Enthusiasm” ...
(it wouldn't be the first time)..., but; now that Master Soloway is securely hosteled at
“Club Fed” for the next couple of months at least, this might be an opportunity to
convey to him, and the legal (sentencing) community, an indication of just how intense and
widespread the opprobrium among the private, commercial and public communities towards
him and his ilk.

Mr. Soloway has ere boasted publicly that his assets are “Judgment proof”. Maybe; but his
“ass” isn't. The June 13 ruling by US Magistrate Judge James P. Donohue denying him bail
in setting a trial date of August 6, finally established this. The prosecution's description of
Soloway's recent history of cavalier disregard for financial judgments against him, which
judgments incorporated orders for him to cease and desist from spamming, might be
characterized as a “curriculum vitae' of a bail jumper.

The defense countered with argument to the absence of criminal convictions in Soloway's record,
the absence of a history of violence, and it thereupon submitted he should not be deemed a threat
to society and hence ineligible for remand.

In addition, the defense argued that he has no significant assets. The judge expressed about the
same level of disdain for these arguments as Soloway had shown towards his civil responsibilities
in the past. His Honor eschewed the defense’s “buts” by installing the braggart's butt where he can
be sure of collecting it come August 6.

The disclosure that the rent and utilities for Soloway's seafront apartment were prepaid for the next
6 months before (in anticipation of?) these proceedings, and that he had managed to retain
counsel, did not convince the court that the argument from poverty had merit.

If, each and severally, 'Spamjammers' around the world who really do 'give a lick', were to
send Soloway a postcard or letter during the time leading up to his Aug. 6 trial, and if these
should aggregate to numbers in any wise representative of the masses upon whom he has
vaingloriously performed such yeoman disservice, chances are it would attract media attention
... might even become a running story.

Post Cards are readily available at many supermarkets and drug stores; some already stamped.
A few seconds of applied penmanship and insertion in a drop-box, and 'whoosh'. One way or
another, someone will have to deal with it (them); not like email complaints that usually
end up as nothing more potent than a pother of electrons.

Selecting from images of far-away places, smiling beauties and bountiful feasts would be
especially apt; poignant even. Those fortunate enough to live in, or take trips to, exotic
locations and sumpt on rare and toothsome cuisine could take a moment to think of RAS
and dash off a post card saying:
“The weather is here; wish you were beautiful.
How's the grub you SOB?”

Fair is fair; however. Any such communiqués should append a statement affording
Mr. Soloway the chance to “opt-out” of future mailings by snail-mailing a reply to
that effect.

As a possible mollifier, the offer of forgiveness might also be considered; albeit in a
qualified sort of way. The sentencing judge might lend ear to an appeal to reduce
Mr. Solway's term by one day for every day he is willing to subsist on nothing more
than Hormel sample platters.

For those who do 'give a lick', R.A,S. can be reached at the following address. I'm sure
the prison Post Office persons will take a real shine to him; seeing as he is so popular
and seeing how his presence makes their chores just that much lighter.

Robert Alan Soloway
c/o Federal Detention Center
2425 South 200 Street
Seatac, WA
98198

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